In Celebrity Secrets, I tell the absurd, crazy and complete and utter exercise in time-wasting that was the FBI's secret investigation of the Kingsmen's classic song Louie Louie.
Did it contain obscene lyrics? Well, no actually it didn't.
But that didn't stop the FBI launching its own inquiry after emotionally repressed and stunted members of the public with apparently nothing better to do with their time grumbled and ranted to the boys at the Bureau that the song's lyrics would utterly corrupt the morals of America's youth.
And no doubt in the deranged minds of these same complainers, and as a direct result, chaos would soon rule supreme, cities would fall, Satan would rise up, man and animal would engage in carnal activities, and Armageddon would be looming ominously on the horizon.
In Celebrity Secrets, I cited a handful of documents on the strange affair. But, incredibly enough, the FBI's case file itself actually runs to nearly 120 pages.
It can be read here in PDF format in all its mind-numbing glory.
Someone remind me to mail the FBI a copy of So What? by the Anti-Nowhere League. The G-Men will have a collective fit when they listen to that one.